How To Transform Feelings Of Desperation Part 2

Being in flow helps us to be optimally productive. It helps us to feel that we are using our time well and makes us happy to be alive. Being in desperate circumstances changes our feelings about our life. It is important to notice how we are managing our needs and commitments and whether we are having lots of problems or problems are piling up in our life. The more we are able to minimize unnecessary problems, the more flow we have and the more enjoyable life is.

Ways To Minimize Desperation

So it is worth asking where we have problems that are currently interrupting flow, and that can invite, at some point,  scarcity and desperation in our lives.

What might be some ways of thinking that would support us better? Here are four important ones that are worth considering:

• Reality is our friend. When we think of reality as the enemy, then we are probably making decisions that are not serving us. This is a simple example, if we think we “should” be free to do whatever we want, we might shortchange our needs for sleep, eat poor-quality food, and be reckless in other ways. The antithesis of that is to let the reality of our physical needs guide us to make decisions that serve our physical well-being so that we not only work with greater ease but also are less likely to become sick. This isn’t a lecture about responsibility but simply a way to understand that we can make reality work for or against us if we fight it.
• A counterproductive idea would be the idea of limitlessness. Limitlessness is a tricky topic because, over time, there are few limits to what we cannot do. At one point, we all lived in caves and had few of our needs met. Today our lives are much more supported. So we have accomplished so much more than our early ancestors could have imagined. Yet at the same time, if we believe in limitlessness as a fixed condition or reality, we will not pay attention to when we are depleting our resources. That is the case right now in an economic system that believes in limitlessness and which, as a result, is not paying attention in a serious way to environmental stresses and extreme depletion.
• That we will be rescued. Yes, our family and friends can help us out in a pinch. None of us are perfect, but there is a difference between needing occasional help and the recklessness of expecting others to cover for us continually.
• Not recognizing there is no one answer. Sometimes people invest in one thing or another, thinking it will be their answer in life. This is where belief systems and mindsets can harm us. If we see one thing as our answer for life, let’s say we think work is the answer. Then we will invest in work to the exclusion of other possibilities and miss out on the richness in life and the many sources of nourishment and support that exist. I like to work. It is enjoyable, it is a way to grow and develop, and it is a way to bring goodness into the world. That is all wonderful. However, it concerns me that here in the USA, where I live, we have made life all about work by organizing our country so that it is hard for people not to spend most of their time working.

So it is worth looking at ideas you have – these are just a few examples to see where you could benefit from changes.

How A Joy Practice Makes This Easier

One of the benefits of a joy practice is that it makes joy our purpose more than survival. When our primary focus is on survival – and it does matter, of course – we invest in survival as our purpose, and that shifts how we view others – as competitors and threats – and our interest in outsmarting those who would take us down. Our view of life is that it is more of a war than a beautiful experience. The resources we need to fight wars and best others can cause us to be reckless in our commitments so that we give too much to winning whatever battle we are fighting, depleting ourselves and inviting failure as a result.

When we have joy as our focus and a joy practice as how we operate, we remove from our life those things that will harm us as a matter of course: poor health habits being a good example. We look at how we are using resources to make sure we are not over or under-consuming so that we are always supporting ourselves adequately and not inviting unnecessary emergencies or failures. It is not about scarcity. It is about staying grounded and adequately nourished. We are doing what we can to minimize disruption to our flow in life by keeping our feet on the ground and using our time and energy wisely. There is a safety in that that we give to ourselves, and it is a great gift to give ourselves.

Life will never be perfect, and we cannot prevent all problems, but we can sure give ourselves the best break we can by being grounded and wise. When we do, we have less desperation in our lives because we are on our side and the side of hope, and it is something we have given to ourselves. I hope you decide to do so.

Photo by Nora Hutton on Unsplash