Photo by Wynand van Poortvliet on Unsplash
We all have lots of different needs. Some are obvious: food, water, etc.; others are latent or hidden in us. In addition to wanting to be happy, we also need to think well of ourselves. As much as we may be judged by others, we also judge ourselves and want that judgment to be a good one.
Why High Self-Regard Can Be Hard
Opinions are one of the most important forms of social glue. So often we think that the opinions that others hold of us are based on some concrete measure of our value. That is not really how many people make assessments. Usually, the assessments that we and others make are based on the standards created in our culture. That means that there is a value system underneath even the most innocuous judgment about others.
If we are in sync with our culture\’s values and support and express them we can generally expect praise and positive validation for our efforts. If we do not, affirmations of our efforts may be sparse if at all. That dynamic can create an ongoing feeling of disappointment, especially if our hearts are in the right place and we act on healthy values.
A Healthy, Unacknowledged Need
We all need to think well of ourselves. This is not the demand of a flagrantly supersize ego. At the end of the day, we all need to feel that we did our best and that we are happy with our efforts and contribution to the world. What we are talking about here is a need to be proud of ourselves.
Being proud of yourself is the characteristic of a mature individual who does their part in life and who does the best they can with their innate gifts. However, that can be hard in a world that pits one against the other and which aggressively creates winners and losers. Social, economic, and class competitions can make the self-respect that comes with being proud of yourself hard to come by.
Being proud of yourself is a sign that you have taken on your personal development and are moving away from the limiting narratives that so many people find themselves in. It is brave to do. It is a way of putting the unfairness in life aside to turn your life into a gift. Anyone who does that can be very proud of themselves. When sensitive people see themselves as deserving to be proud of themselves, it becomes easier for them to create the life they want.
Sometimes we need a nudge or support to take the steps to claim our lives and contribution from the demeaning narratives in our culture. Challenging and eliminating erroneous beliefs is a great place to start so you can relieve yourself of mistaken perceptions that conflict with your true and best self. There are many healing modalities that can help release past programming. One of the best is quantum healing which directly works on your energetic system by accessing theta brain waves. It is worth checking out.